How to say "no"?

Posted by Sebastyn in tips tricks and how to | 0 comments

Jan 19, 12

Are you one of those people who have trouble saying no? Join the club! I have had to figure this out for myself, not only because I find it terribly uncomfortable to say no, but also because I often get so excited about the proposed project that I simply find myself saying YES before I’ve considered things like… eh… Do I have time for this? So many times the advice is to “just say no, it’s perfectly okay, you have a right to say no” but it’s simply not so easy to do if you’re well… A woman, in most cases. So what to do:

1. Decide to sleep on every proposal whether or not you feel exited about it to start with or not. Make this a habit. Also take a sleep before saying yes to your OWN proposals!

2. Tell people that you’re going to sleep on it, and if you want, you can explain to them that it sounds like a great idea but you have to give it a good thought whether you have the time to put the required effort in. (Lay the ground for saying no, but this is a great way to say it so you don’t have to say a flat out no.)

3. Once you’re on your own and not under pressure, you’ll have time to consider two things: A) Do I really want to do this? (If you’re anything like me, in the morning it may not sound so flash anymore.) and B) How do I phrase the ‘no’ nicely, so that it leaves no wiggle room but is still a nice way to say it.

I call this “buying time”. You know how sometimes you wish you had thought about saying this or that instead what you blurted out in panic? This is one of those rare moments when you can go: “Okay, I’ll give it a thought and get back to you” and really consider whether you want to say no thank you, or say yes, please, bring it on!